Mission Impossible: Daichi's Love Life
by ToastLover
Summary: Devil Survivor 2: Daichi desperately wants to ask Io out, and of course, everyone else, wants to help in the best way possible... WARNING: Plenty of sex jokes, crude language, and my attempt at humor
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, I'm relatively new to FanFiction this is the first story I've posted, so comments or advice would be appreciated! :)**

**I don't own Devil Survivor 2 or any of the characters.**

**Rated T for sex jokes and colorful language.**

* * *

"Hey, man, seriously when are you going to ask Nitta out?" Hibiki elbowed his friend. They were sitting at their favorite café, drinking hot coffees, waiting for their friends to arrive. "Because, honestly, the sexual tension between you two is almost painful to watch."

"Shut up!" Daichi lightly punched Hibki's arm. "I'm telling you. Any day now, we'll have a chance encounter at sunset and confess our undying love for each other. I mean, there's no way it _can't_ happen, right?"

"Sure," Hibiki mumbled, taking another sip of mocha. "Just tell me when you want to hook up with her, so I can leave you two alone."

By the time Airi and Jungo arrived, the two high school boys were punching and shoving each other. "What the hell are you fags doing? Making out?" Airi's voice broke the wrestling match between Daichi and Hibiki. Embarssed, they quickly straightened up in their chairs.

"Hey, Airi, Jungo." Daichi muttered a greeting as the couple sat down. Jungo nodded in response while Airi huffed and crossed her arms.

After placing their orders with the waitress, Hibiki blurted out, "Have any ideas on how to get Daichi and Nitta together?" The brunette nearly spewed out his latte into Jungo's face.

"OH MY GOD, HIBIKI!" Daichi yelled, attracting the attention of the other customers. "Why can't you just drop it?" The two began shoving each other again, until Airi loudly cleared her throat.

"_Daichi_." The red-haired girl turned to glare at him, her eyes taking on a dangerous glint. The teen shuddered unconsciously. "The first step is to accept your attraction to her—"

"Wait, you're actually serious about this?!" Daichi almost cried. "Shouldn't you feel some protection or possessiveness over her since she's your friend?"

Airi furrowed her brow and pursed her lips. "That is true…I would hate for her to get caught up with a shady douchebag like you, but she's so obsessed with her grades that it would be too much trouble for her to find some other guy she doesn't know."

"So you're just saying he's convenient," Hibiki interjected, bluntly.

"Convenient _and_ easy."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Jungo huffed. Immediately all attention turned to the tall, dark teen who rarely spoke. Eyes closed, he appeared to be in deep thought. The three others at the table seemed to tense up in anticipation. Finally he stated, "Jungo approves."

A wide grin spread over Airi's cheeks, and she flung her arms around her companion, wrapping him in a bear hug. A rare smile crept across Jungo's features, as he endearingly patted the girl's head. Hibiki and Daichi looked on at the lovey-dovey couple, feeling a little awkward…and single.

A couple minutes later, the café's door bell clinked as a tall, white-haired young man walked in. "Yamato, you're unusually late today. Something wrong?" Hibiki asked as the younger teen sat down. For a while, the stone-faced teen ignored him until he slowly shook his head.

A tense silence settled over the table. After regaining their memories about Polaris' judgment on the world and the things they experienced, many of them still bore resentment towards the Hotsuin. Hibiki, however, had welcomed their former enemy into their circle of friends. Over time, the bitterness faded, but traces of it still remained.

"So, Yamato," Daichi began cautiously. "How's Makoto?"

"She's fine," the white-haired teen said a little too quickly, immediately realizing his mistake."

"A-HA!" the brunette exclaimed, bluntly breaking the awkwardness. "You're still chasing after her, aren't you? See, we can be romantically impaired together."

At this, Yamato's visible eye twitched in irritation. "Don't group me in the same level as you. At least I don't flirt by throwing takoyaki at the object of my affection."

"That was _one_ time, and I didn't throw it, I just gave it to her."

"You tripped and shoved it into in her chest," the wealthy teen added. "Her slap was a lot stronger than you would expect."

Hibiki doubled over in laughter, and Airi struggled to contain the shit-eating grin on her face. Daichi spluttered for a comeback, but finding none, he sunk in his chair, face red from remembered embarrassment.

Once he calmed down and his sides stopped hurting, Hibki mentioned, "Oh yeah. Speaking of which, before you came in, we were talking about how to get Daichi here and Nitta to hook up."

The clumsy teen punched Hibiki's arm again. "It was not about us _hooking up_, you ass. I thought it was just about going out on a date."

"So you _do_ want to date her," Airi chimed in, mischievously. "And don't worry, the hooking up sex comes after the date." Daichi felt a little sick at the faint blush on Jungo's usually stoic composure as Airi said this.

"Our first date was at Jungo's restaurant," the spunky girl continued, gesturing to her thoroughly embarrassed boyfriend. "We had some udon and egg custards while we talked. Then, afterwards, we kicked all the cats out of the place so we could—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it," Hibiki quickly cut in, not wanting to lose his lunch. Daichi was furiously blushing, unable to speak. "So you think Daichi and Nitta should go to your restaurant for a date? Without having sex in there afterwards, of course."

"NO." Jungo immediately replied, trying to cover his red cheeks with his hand. "A movie is better. Or a park. Or a restaurant that's not mine."

"Why should anyone even bother with a date? Why not just go straight to the sex?" Yamato asked bluntly.

"This is why you're never going to get together with Makoto."

"I think…I think a movie sounds like a pretty good idea…" Daichi mumbled.

"Alright then, bitches!" Airi suddenly exclaimed. "Operation Ask-Io-Out starts now! For starters, you need to get movie tickets. YAMATO!" The girl pointed at the white-haired teen.

"What."

"We need you to get tickets for the best damn movie ever ASAP!"

"Why me?"

With a straight face, Airi replied, "Because you're the rich bitch in our group. You have connections, right? Use them!"

Daichi looked like he was about to pass out from too much blood in his cheeks, so Hibiki raised his hands and attempted to calm down the hyperactive girl. "Slow down, Airi—"

"Second of all, we need to create the perfect dramatic scenario for Daichi to pop the question," Airi ordered, pointedly ignoring Hibiki.

"Don't make it sound like I'm going to marry her!" Daichi's voice was taking on a hysterical tone.

"This scenario needs to include some or all of the following: rain and only one umbrella, a big ass Septentrion, a gang of rapist thugs—"

"I still think he should skip the date and go straight to seducing her."

"Don't say that with such a blank expression, Yamato. It's creepy."

The doorbell chimed again and silence fell thickly over the café as a green-haired schoolgirl rushed in toting a school bag. "Hi, guys, I'm sorry I'm so late. I was taking a mock exam and it ran a little overtime," Io hurried over to the table and sat down between Airi and Hibiki.

It took a while for Io to settle down and place her order to notice the awkward atmosphere at the table. "Something wrong?"

When no one answered for a couple minutes, Io started to sense their guilty embarassment. A sudden thought came to her, and she gasped before narrowing her eyes dangerously. "You guys weren't talking about my chest size again, were you?"

Airi laughed nervously. "Oh come on, Io-_chan_. Cut us a little slack, won't you? We're not as awful bastards to talk about you like that…"

* * *

**To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Second part (forgot to mention it takes place after the series and includes other pairings. meh not sorry :/) Again any feedback would be great!**

* * *

The bell rang, and students shuffled into their seats, as the teacher strode into the room. Daichi and Hibki took their usual seats next to each other, as Io took hers at the front of the row Hibiki was in. As the lecture began, the two boys made eye contact, each reading the other's expression.

Looking for her notebooks, Io rummaged through her school bag, flipping past papers. Then, something caught her eye: a yellow envelope. She hadn't put that in, had she? Sliding it out, she turned it over for a name but found none. Who could've slipped this into her bag? She looked for her pair of scissors to open it, but hesitated.

As she stared at it, she decided to wait until the end of this period to open it. She needed to pay attention to the lecture.

"Aw, man, she's not opening it," Daichi quietly groaned, watching Io from the back of the room. Hibiki shrugged. They would just have to wait.

But by the end of first period, Io had pushed the envelope to the back of her mind. Once the bell rang, she was already finishing up her notes and moving onto the next subject.

"Is she opening it yet?" Hibiki asked, trying to look around the students in front of him.

"No, not yet," Daichi mumbled, nervously. "Geez, what is she waiting for?"

Hibiki patted his friend's shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry, man. It'll happen."

Suddenly, Daichi's cell phone buzzed loudly and blared his ringtone of Hatsune Miku's "World is Mine." The teen jumped then quickly fished it out of his bag, muttering apologies and swearing that he'd put it on silent earlier.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Bitch, this is Airi. Is the liner in the panties? Repeat: is the liner in the panties?"

"What? Um, yeah, Nitta has the envelope."

"Daichi, you asshole, use the code! Just say that the liner is in the damn panties!"

The boy cringed at the loud feedback from Airi's yelling. "But that sounds a lot worse. Makes me sound like some kind of pervert."

"But that wouldn't be wrong, would it? Has she read it?"

"No," Daichi said dejectedly.

The girl on the other end audibly sighed. "Seriously? We'll just have to wait, then. But, the operation cannot be held back. Continue as planned."

When lunchtime rolled around, the three teens headed up to the rooftop as usual. Then, Io suddenly remembered the letter in her bag. Glancing at the two boys in nervousness, she excused herself before running to the ladies' room to open it in privacy. As the timid girl ran back down the stairs, Hibiki and Daichi looked at each other knowingly before continuing up.

Locking herself in a stall, Io hastily pulled out the envelope and ripped open the top. Inside was a ticket and a letter. The letter read: _To Nitta Io, There's a new movie premiere that looks interesting tonight and I have an extra ticket. Care to come with me? If so, meet me at the school's flagpole at six thirty wearing something sexy. Yours truly, your secret stalker_

Upon closer inspection, Io saw that the ticket was for…a porno flick? The movie title read, _Schoolgirl BDSM 2: Extracurricular Activities_. Io blushed profusely, her face and neck flushing dark red. Although horrified, she felt a strange curiosity. No doubt some pervert with no life had sent this to her, but she should probably go confront him. And sic the police on them.

Meanwhile, on the rooftop, Daichi munched nervously on his sandwich. Io had probably went to open the letter and have read its contents by now. Of course, he hadn't been the one to write the letter or pick out the movie; he'd inevitably screw it up. He'd entrusted that to Airi and Yamato. Now that he thinks about it, that was a really bad idea. Remembering he has the other ticket, he pulled it from his pocket to see what it was. He choked on his sandwich when he read the title.

"Dude, what's wrong?" Hibiki asked, noticing his friend coughing and gasping.

Once he managed to swallow the lump of sandwich in his throat, Daichi shoved the ticket in his Hibiki's face and cried, "Yamato gave us tickets for a porn movie! That ASSHOLE!"

Hibiki couldn't help but laugh despite the situation. "Well, that should make things a lot more interesting. And, you know, help with some kinky sex for afterwards."

The brunette angrily shoved Hibiki. "It's not funny, dammit! Io is _so_ going to turn me down! Now she really will think I'm a pervert."

Coincidentally, Io just happened to walk in on their conversation at that exact moment. Saying hello to them, she took a seat near the railing and pulled out her lunch box. It was a while later when she was enjoying a rice ball that she noticed how quiet the two boys were being. And then she saw the slight flush on each of their faces as they avoided making eye contact with her.

"Honestly, you two," Io cried, "Will you stop talking about my chest size behind my back?"

* * *

Daichi's watch beeped at the half hour. As of right now, it was six thirty. He stood under the flagpoles, absentmindedly watching the growing shadows. He nervously folded and unfolded his tickets. After nagging Yamato about his choice of movie, he bought two seats for some new princess movie called Freeze or Frozen or whatever. All girls like princess movies, right? He had also bought a small box of chocolates to give her afterwards to make up for whatever the letter had said. Out of anxiety, Daichi checked his watch again. Io should be coming any moment now.

He finally heard footsteps a few minutes later. But they didn't sound dainty and small like Io usually did. Instead, they were more loud and fast and heavy. Like someone running. Before he knew what hit him, a horde of policemen mobbed Daichi, forcing him to the ground and handcuffing him. Shocked beyond speech, Daichi spotted Io standing a few feet away. When they made eye contact and recognized each other, Io looked surprised and hurriedly ran up to her crowd.

"Oh my god, Shijima?" Io cried. "Wait! Stop! He's my friend!"

"Eighty four percent of victims of date rape knew their attackers." A random policeman spouted out a statistic meant to justify their continuation.

"Please get off him already!"

By the time Io explained the situation and the policeman had left begrudgingly, Daichi was still a little dazed. As she helped him to his feet, she asked, "So you were the one who slipped the letter in my bag?"

Swallowing thickly, Daichi laughed nervously. "Um, yeah, I was. And, sorry about that ticket. I got the wrong movie and didn't notice it until afterwards." He felt like he was mumbling but couldn't seem to get rid of the dry feeling in his mouth.

"Oh, I see," Io said blankly, deciding not to ask about the strange wording of the letter. Now she understood. This was a joke Hibiki and Daichi were playing on her. The small girl felt embarrassed and yet relieved. Yes, she had called out half the police force to assault her best friend, but it was all resolved in the end, right? The two teens stood in awkward silence for a moment before Io muttered goodbye and turned to head home.

"Nitta, wait!" Daichi called out.

The green-haired girl paused. "What is it?"

The teen hesitated. "Um…I bought two new tickets for a different movie, and…it would be a waste if I didn't use them," he finished lamely, mentally kicking himself.

Io turned around to stare at Daichi in surprise. He certainly seemed sincere, the way he was blushing. Quickly scanning the area for Hibiki or any other of their friends, Io began to think that maybe this wasn't really a joke. Looking back to Daichi, she saw the nervousness in his brown eyes and his unconfident posture, untypical of him. Finally, she smiled and replied, "Yes, it would. I'd be glad to go with you, Shijima."

* * *

Daichi and Io made it to the movie theater and sat down without event. But of course, the whole gang had been following them since the school. Namely Hibiki and Airi were the most enthusiastic while Jungo and Yamato trailed behind.

"My God, they're not holding hands. Why aren't they holding hands?" Airi whined, watching the two friends walk down the street.

"Of course they aren't," Hibiki whispered back. "They're both way too shy. And this is their first date."

"Can I go home?" Yamato asked for the umpteenth time that evening. "I really do have a lot of work to do."

"No, you bastard," Airi snapped, "Which is more important? Your friends' relationship or a page of math homework? Wait, on second thought, don't answer that." Yamato sighed in resignation as they continued on. Jungo just stood up straighter and resumed following Airi.

While walking to the theater and trying to make conversation with Io, Daichi had the nagging feeling that he was being followed. He knew he probably was and he would cuss Hibiki out for it later. But for now, as long as things went smoothly, he could enjoy his date.

As the movie rolled through its opening scenes, Daichi found that his arm had slipped itself onto the back of Io's chair. So for the next two hours, it stayed there, petrified like a rock, scared that if he made the slightest movement, Io would feel something touching her fluffy green hair and she would snap his arm in two. But Io was so absorbed in the movie she even forgot she was there with Daichi. She wouldn't have noticed if a serial killer was murdering all the people behind her. After all, all girls like princess movies.

Finally, the ending credits scrolled down the screen and Daichi tried to nurse feeling back into his numb arm. However, Io was practically glowing, and she threw her arms around her brunette friend. "That was really fun," she beamed. "Thank you so much, Shijima!" Said male blushed and reluctantly hugged the small girl back.

"What's wrong with him?" Airi groaned, watching the display of affection from the back row of the theater. "Don't just hug her, you idiot. Put some oomph in it."

"Oomph?" Hibiki echoed. "You mean like something suggestive?"

"He could grab her ass. Girls like that, right?"

"Shut up, Yamato. You're ruining the moment."

"All right then," Airi interrupted. "Is Phase Three prepared and ready to go?"

The three teens nodded, and the group silently filed out.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**The OOCness could not be contained.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Warnings: I don't know what happened to my brain. This part just runs all over the place. Fight scene with some violence obviously and-guess what?-even cruder sex jokes. Attempted rape and assault. Don't feel comfortable with any of the above? Then please don't read.**

* * *

Feeling a whole lot more confident, Daichi smoothly slipped his hand into Io's as he walked her home. A bit surprised at the contact, Io widened her green eyes to look at him. But seeing him grinning warmly at her, Io couldn't help but grin and squeeze his hand back. Friends can be friends and still hold hands, right? The two of them continued happily like this. Neither of them heard the rapidly approaching footsteps.

Suddenly an arm shot out from behind and wrapped tightly around Daichi's neck. He faintly heard Io screaming as his vision blurred from the abrupt lack of oxygen. Regaining his balance, he elbowed his attacker in the stomach. Hearing wheezing and feeling the arm around his neck loosen, he grabbed the shirt and arm behind him and threw his attacker over his shoulder. A grungy looking guy landed roughly in front of him with a pained groan. _What on earth is going on?_ The teen tried to think with his adrenaline fogged mind. _We were just walking back to Nitta's house, but then…Nitta?_

"Nitta!" Daichi yelled, looking for his date.

"Shijima!" He spotted her a few yards away screaming and trying to shove off a thickly built man who was attempting to pin her to a wall. But before he could run and throw a punch at the man assaulting her, he felt something cold and thick pinching and coiling around his waist. He looked down and saw a chain wrapping around his torso, and when it was pulled tight, he gagged and fell to the ground. Scrambling unsteadily to his feet, the teen spun around to face his new assailant, but a right hook to his gut brought him falling down again.

Fighting unconsciousness, Daichi's choked before vomiting from the attack. "What the hell…" he mumbled around the taste of bile in his mouth, "is happening…" He was vaguely aware of being dragged into an alleyway along with Io, who was still screaming and kicking at their attackers. As the two were thrown to the ground together, Daichi managed to form coherent thought through the haze in his mind. Noticing that Io was miserably huddling against him, he saw that her wrists were tied behind her back. He also realized that his hands were also secured behind him but with a chain. After hastily giving Io a few comforting words, the brunette turned to their assailants. "Who the hell are you guys?" he demanded, anger suddenly driving his ego.

He could now clearly see that there were three men; all of them wore filthy clothes and identical lecherous grins. They had the two teens caught, trapped and bound in the alleyway. Acting on instinct, Daichi moved in front of Io protectively as the three men approached. "Sick bastards," Daichi growled. "If you so much as lay a finger on my date, I will _end_ you."

Io's green eyes widened. Did she just hear what she thought she did? A date? She was Daichi's date? Did her clumsy, lanky, brunette friend like her? Somehow the revelation gave her comfort and she nuzzled affectionately into his back. This small gesture made Daichi's confidence soar.

But, one of the men laughed at Daichi, beginning to take longer strides. "Ha, who said we'd be raping the girl?"

And then, all Daichi's confidence—and Io's composure—flew out the metaphorical window. "…Oh hell."

* * *

"Yamato, someday, I will kill you," cursed a certain redhead currently crouching just at the entrance of the alley. The four of them had seen the whole scene unfold, but they acknowledged it as just part of the plan. Daichi and Io—or rather, just Daichi—weren't really going to get raped, of course. Right? At least, that was what they thought until Airi snapped at Yamato.

"Is something wrong?" Hibiki asked.

"Hell yeah! Why did you send three of them?" As she turned to Yamato, Jungo and Hibiki did as well.

Yamato replied coolly, "Why not?"

"Because Daichi can't take on three gang members, damn it! He was supposed to heroically save Io from _just_ _one_ _thug_." A scowl was plastered across the red-haired girl's face. "And now, thanks to you, Daichi's going to get screwed up the a-"

"Then, shouldn't we go help them?" Hibiki jumped to his feet, but Airi held him back. "Let go, Airi. This is going too far."

"Just wait," Airi enunciated. "Even though Yamato jacked up the plan, I think they'll be fine."

"'You think?' But you just said Daichi's screwed—"

"Shut up and watch. It's happening now."

Io struggled to stand, using the wall to balance herself without being able to use her hands. Daichi was valiantly resisting, but it was hard to fight back when he was flushing so darkly and surrounded by three grown men. Seeing her friend in such a traumatizing situation made Io's blood boil. Having to stand by and watch helplessly while Daichi was being assaulted with her hands tied together like this. If only she could still summon demons like Kikuri-hime or even Ogre, then she could save him…

Before she herself even realized what she was doing, Io ran into the mass of people, and her leg swung out to connect with the stomach of one of the men. He gurgled before doubling over and coughing up blood. The two others now turned their attention away from Daichi to face the girl. But by then, Io had pivoted and was running back in their direction. The men hurriedly tried to stand, as Io sprinted forward before suddenly dropping and sliding in to trip up another man. Once he fell hard, the strange girl was suddenly above him. She landed rigidly and fully onto his chest with her knees. A strangled scream tore from the man's throat. By then, the third man had fled, shrieking hysterically about not caring how much he was getting paid, leaving his companions behind.

Daichi stared at the scene. "…Dayum," he breathed.

* * *

Again, the two teens found themselves strolling down the sidewalk to Io's house. This time, Io was holding almost possessively onto Daichi's arm. Although he thought it was cute, it was a little unnerving, considering the nearly fatal injuries she'd just inflicted on two grown men.

"Nitta, it's okay." Daichi finally said it. "I'm fine. You don't have to cling like that."

Io locked eye contact with him. "But they touched you. On our date."

"D-Date?" the teen spluttered, half happy, half nervous.

"Well, you did call me your date back there." Io held tighter onto his arm. "I'm sorry, but I felt like being protective." Daichi smiled and unwrapped one of her hands from his arm to hold. The pair continued in silence, swinging their joined hands slightly.

_Wait a minute, did I just become the girl in this relationship?_ Daichi thought. He inwardly sighed, as they finally arrived at Io's house. "Well, good night, Nitta. I'll see you tomorrow at school."

Io smiled, still grasping Daichi's hand. "Please, you can call me Io." Then, a grin still spread ear to ear on her face, Io leaned in and gently kissed Daichi's cheek. She could practically feel his face heating up under her lips. "We should do this again sometime. Good night…Daichi."

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**The end**

**Please leave a review! :)**


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